You Are Saving Lives

Haddie Bo Bo,

I am completely humbled and speechless.  Your story has been shared so many times and read by so many people I can't even count. It has been viewed by 39,000 people.  Never would I have ever thought that this would have happened.  The support that people have shown has brought back my faith in humanity.  I have spent the past days reading messages and comments that people have wrote to me and they make me cry.  Tears because I am moved, tears because I can't believe I have to share story like this, tears because your story is making a difference.  I took screenshots with my phone of every comment or message I read because I wanted to have it forever.  I want to be able to reread these sweet words.  There were many comments from mothers saying they share my tears and I believe them.  Every mom's worst nightmare is my everyday reality.  Every comment I read meant so much to me.

There are so many reasons why I shared your story but the following comments are really what it's all about:

"I just ran upstairs and removed my daughter's blanket from her crib"

I also had some daycare providers thank me for the reminder and tell me they will be changing things up, etc.

YOU ARE CHANGING THE WORLD HADDIE, SAVING LIVES.

For so long I have been keeping your story private, but it needed to be told.  I want to be clear about my thoughts about your daycare provider.  I never had a complaint about your care up until this time.  I know she loved you and your sister and she never meant to intentionally hurt you.  Unfortunately that day mistakes were made and you are no longer here because of it.  I do not hate your daycare provider I am just very sad this all happened, I wish someone would have called me.  This should be a message to all parents and anyone who cares for babies that it only takes one time of not following the rules for something to happen.  Sometimes it's hard to hold your ground and stick to the rules especially if you've had a long day and your baby is fussy and just wants a blanket to cuddle with.  Or your a nursing mama and your so tired and just let them sleep in your bed with you, just this one time.  But speaking as a mom who has lost her baby because of Safe Sleep violations I would give anything to have you here Haddie no matter how fussy you are or tired I am. The phrase, "I would do anything," has new meaning to me now.  I would really do anything...

I have found that your death was so meaningless.  It shouldn't have happened and I am dedicating my life to bring meaning to it and to honor your life.  It's hard because I hate my new life with every fiber of my being.  It is cruel to wake up everyday and only be able to see you in a picture.  You are only alive in my memories.  So I talk about you as much as I can and I speak your name because I don't want to forget.  Life sometimes seems so daunting and an impossible task.  Your Daddy and your sister keep me going and make me smile.

Love you sweet girl,

Mama